Top 10 most ridiculous things I hear as a bouncer and jiu jitsu instructor.

[Ari Bolden]

10) I do MMA
9) I do stand up (really? Are you on the comedy network?)
8) I do UFC
7) I'll just kimura his ass
6) You guys must kick a lot of ass
5) I'm a good fighter so I think I'd be a good bouncer.
4) That jiu jitsu shit would never work on me.
3) My instructor says your a dick (insert mindless robot drone student here)
2) Fighting in the ring and the street is the same thing
1) Let me in because I'm hot.

[Ryan]

HAHAHAHA. Thats funny! I liked 9,8,4,1 the best. How many times have you "proven Jiu-Jitsu works" on them?

[GrCh35]

#7 is my favorite.

[Lost Cause]

9,7,3 my personal favorites and you never know someday you might get on like a look at submissions101 alot

[VerticalX]

The one I hear the most is "I know the Owner", or "I didn't bring my ID, Cmon buddy you saw me here last week".

Now whats the best line you've said back?

Mine was "I'm gonna take you outside, beat the sh#* out of you, and come back in wearing your hat"

[Nefarious_Angel]

Come on Ari, you know #1 works sometimes :P

[Fox1s2]

Hey ari, i just got a job at a sports bar as a "bouncer"/security, just to make sure there aren't any fights...wondering if you could give me some good tips...not on just fighting how to diffuse a potentially bad situation..so i never have to get to the fighting...thanks. =)

[Ari Bolden]

Fox:

Send me a message with your email address and I'll send you my ebook I wrote a few years back called the Doorman's Credo. It should help a bit!

cheers
Ari
www.doormanscredo.com

[Fox1s2]

Sent, Thanks btw....Is there anything you haven't done Ari? =P

Author
Teacher
Doorman

Only thing left is politics ;)

[UfcWanab]

Ha, number 4 cracks me up. You should have been like "Really, you mean you wont black out after I put you in a triangle choke or crank a rear naked on you? Come here let me try it!

[Hadaka Jime]

im not a bouncer, but i've heard a lot of people say alot of the things in that list like numbers 10,9,8 and 4 and all these people who don't train at all/hit the punching bag a little and lift wieghts think they can dominate any one who practices a jiu jitsu type ground game... and when you fight them boy were they wrong :p

you don't get the i left my id at home/in the car, do i really gotta go and get it, or the i lost my id on vacation my new 1 comes in soon, can't you just let me in?... i laugh at alot of the list though... haha the things people will say to a bouncer:cool:

[Tom Gavrilos]

10) I do MMA
9) I do stand up (really? Are you on the comedy network?)
8) I do UFC
7) I'll just kimura his ass
6) You guys must kick a lot of ass
5) I'm a good fighter so I think I'd be a good bouncer.
4) That jiu jitsu shit would never work on me.
3) My instructor says your a dick (insert mindless robot drone student here)
2) Fighting in the ring and the street is the same thing
1) Let me in because I'm hot.

These are great Ari! I get so sick of 8.

Here are the top 5 I hear bouncing inside the club (not at the door)

5. You wouldn't be so tough without your security shirt
4. Im a Cage Fighter
3. Get Your Hands off me i didnt touch her ! :p
2. Im going to take you to court bro whos going to pay for this shirt!?
1. What do you lift? and in the case where Ari visited at an after we were closed at a house "How many push ups can you do"

Ari said "Great what are you going to do push me up to death" haha classic Ari.
and I being the gentelman I am decided to give him a quick lesson in BJJ ;)

Ahhh drunk people...there the best!!

[Ryan]

Tom- you should seriously put a bunch of dimes in your pocket and when someone asks you who will pay for their shirt you should throw em a dime or two.

[TheRob]

what's wrong with 9 and 10?
Mixed Martial Artists do exist
and I hear Striking refered to as StandUp pretty often

[Ari Bolden]

The problem with 9 and 10 is that "it's an absolutely stupid thing to say" in the context that we are talking about.

Of course they exist, but having some nob tell you that he's a "mma fighter" or a “Striker/stand up fighter" is just plain ridiculous, especially because the only reason he's telling you this is to “try and intimidate you and pray that you don't call his bluff."

[TheRob]

oh, your talking about as a Bouncer
I thought you ment just in general
I was like damn we gotta keep it a secret if we Box or something...

[Ryan]

Also, most people who do "mma" and are "stand up" fighters usually don't refer to them in those terms.

For instance, does Floyd Mayweather Jr say he is a striker or a boxer? Probaby a boxer. I would guess Chuck Liddell got his Kenpo tat on his arm instead of "striker" because he is proud of his martial art of choice.

Also, most people don't know what "mma" is but they would know what ufc was so I have heard people say "I do ufc"

[TheRob]

yah well my friend ran a Mixed school for awhile and people called it Striking cus they learned whatever best suited thier style
well they learned it all but he made sure they where GOOD at whatever fit thier style
but that's the thing tho Floyd wouldn't refer to himself as a Striker cus he IS a Boxer
but would Houston Alexander or Rich Franklin refer to themsevles as a Kickboxer or a Boxer or a Striker
being into Mixed they'd probubly say Striker, or it could even be interchangeable
that's pretty much how I describe it
like for my Striking I'm very Punch Dominant, but I know how to throw Elbows Knees and Kicks
I just have the tendency to throw Fists
so I refer to myself as a Striker or a Boxer depending

[cyrus]

Ari,is your doormans credo ebook still availble for purchase?

[Ari Bolden]

yes it is...just paste this into your browser heading:

http://www.explosivefightwear.com/credo.htm

cheers
Ari

There is also the double ebook package of headlocks and haymakers with the doorman's credo:

http://www.explosivefightwear.com/haymakers/index.php